Wednesday, May 29, 2013

I'm going to get in trouble for this.......

It was recently brought to my attention, that the world does NOT revolve around me. 

This is news to me.

 Actually, wait, no its not.

I am going to put this out there, and I will probably get an earful about it later, but I don't have the greatest family. When I say this, I don't mean my immediate family. My parents are great and my brothers....well they are brothers, but I wouldn't trade them in. No, I am talking about the extended family. 

There is a lot of non-family like activity going on in my family. I say this about both my mother and fathers sides. There is name calling, shit talking, judgement...and, while I don't like to say it, I think there is even some good ole' fashioned hatred too!

I have used my very limited psychological skills to analyze my family...a few times. I have found that the values held by each group (or lack thereof), makes sense when you look closely. Now, I am not claiming that me and my little group are superior to ANY of my other family members. We have our faults and that might even be an understatement. But I think that we hold a higher value on "family", then most others. I think we have a better understanding of "family", then most others too. 

So there was a family event this past weekend. One that should have been celebrated with EVERYONE!!! Sadly, my little group was not involved in this. It wasn't our choice, we simply were not invited. It made me angry, and I lashed out. At two people in particular. This is because I really value my relationships with these two people, but I felt like they betrayed me. I felt like they kept this event from me, because they knew I was not invited. It turns out that was not the case, and we have gotten past it....because we are family. 

In the process of my lashing out, some other family members took unnecessary offense to this. I think that perhaps....they let their guilty conscious get the better of them. At any rate, it was then brought to my attention, that the world does not revolve around lil ole' me. Well, go figure. Ya know, if I hadn't of figured that out when barely any family showed up for my baby showers, my children's birthday parties, my bridal shower, my wedding (the list could go on),then I would really be upset right now. 

Fortunately, I have long been aware that I am not the center of everyone's universe. It's also fortunate, that I don't give a shit about that.

 I would have been terrified to say that out loud 10 years ago, hell, two years ago. Mostly because I know my parents wouldn't approve. They have slightly different beliefs, when it comes to family. But in the process of growing up, I learned that I don't have to hold the same beliefs as my parents. I learned that if someone does me or mine dirty....they can piss off. Even if they share blood with me. My parents raised me with their beliefs and I think they did a good job. But now I have my own children, so I will raise them with MY beliefs and hope that I do a GREAT job.

So here is the moral of my story. I don't need a bunch of cousins, aunts, uncles and the feel the love of family. I have my parents and my siblings. I have my husband and my children. I have the family members that really care. I have friends that are more like family, than family. That's enough for me. I would rather me, my husband and my kids, have a handful of real love..... then a butt load of the fake stuff.

John 13:34 - "A new command I give you. Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another"