Friday, March 1, 2013

Did I mention..... I have separation anxiety?

MjAxMi02N2UzZDhmODI5ZDhkNzgzYou read that right..... I am a grown woman, who suffers from separation anxiety. Just like your one year old, I get upset when the people I am closest to....go away. Mind you, I don't throw tantrums and scream my ass off, but that's whats up on the inside. It took me a long time to accept that. It just seemed so silly and therefore it just couldn't be, but it is what it is. I get very anxious (like, one loud noise away from a panic attack, anxious) when someone I care about is out of my sight.

I know that it has a lot to do with the O.C.D. and all the dreadful emotions that come with it. I worry....too much and ALWAYS think of the worst possible scenarios. My husband going to store, my kids going to school, my parents going out of town....these are all triggers for my anxiety. I'm not really sure of its cause, I could throw my theories out there, but what use would that be? Some will argue, that in order to resolve an issue, you have to go back to the source....pull the weed up by the root, if you will. I'm not a huge fan of examining my past, one discovery, always leads to another (most likely unwanted), I'm good on that one.

For right now, I am content with just acknowledging that I have this particular form of anxiety and doing my best to control it. For right now, I am content to spend my kid free days, cleaning my house from top to bottom, rather then trying (and failing horribly) to lounge around and relax. I am hopeful that one day, I will be anxiety free. It's probably a tall order, but could happen!

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