Thursday, December 5, 2013

The Medicated Mom's Guide To - Strip Clubs!!

A couple days ago, one of the mom's in one of my (many) mom groups, posted about how angry she was that her husband had snuck off the see "some skanks" at the strip club.

Blame it on my raging post-partum hormones, but that really irked me! Some of my favorite women are dancers!

I guess I should have started by saying that I do support the arts. And if you've ever seen a good strip know that shits an art form!

Seriously though, I love going to strip clubs. I think that women that are all uptight about their men going to em....are just self conscious and haven't learned to embrace what strippers do for us. And before you all start with the homophobic am not a lesbian. I am a woman who appreciates the female form. Women are beautiful, well made creatures.... why wouldn't I appreciate that??

I actually have some very logical reasons as to why people ( men and women both) and more importantly, couples, should frequent a gentleman's club! There are benefits to "allowing" your man to go see naked women...that they can't touch. Even more benefits to sitting next to him at one. They are as follows:

1: Support the arts.....make it rain!
2: Some of the best made drinks I've ever had...were at strip joints.
3: BOOBIES!!!! Enough said....
4: Happy husband=happy, spoiled, "she's so awesome" wife!!
5: (The best reason) Post strip club sex!!!!

I'd like to talk about reason #5 for just a minuet here. I want to be perfectly after the strip club is AWESOME!! For us chicks... Our inner pole dancer emerges and since we're a little buzzed and a lot horney, we think we're hella hot and our men dig it. For they guys.....well they just sat in a room with naked women...and their wife/girlfriend Nuff said, right? Break up, make up and post strip joint sex....yea, best sex EVER!!

Anyway, what I am trying to get at, is that you should go to a strip club. Get a sitter, get dolled up and take your man on the best date he'll ever have. When you get home, throw on a g-string and the stilettos buried in the back of your closet and get your hubby to toss some dollars at ya.....good times I tell ya, good times!

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